I have been suckered in by a call to action. One of the authors I work with has invited her blog readers to rewrite the first paragraph of the Time magazine cover story on Jonathan Franzen. Immediately below is my attempt, but it won’t make any sense unless you go here first and read the background and explanation. So go and read what Laura has to say, and then read what TK has to say. Oh, and I personally challenge JT and AB to post their own first paragraphs on their blogs.
One of the humans admiring them is TK. TK is a member of another perennially threatened species, THE AMERICAN GUTSY BROAD, TYPICALLY MISLABELLED AS AN AMBITIOUS BITCH. But she’s not as IN DENIAL about it as the otters. She’s USING IT TO HER ADVANTAGE. She’s a CURVACEOUS EXAMPLE, 5 ft 6 in., with significant BREASTS, but her posture is not so much hunched as THE RESULT OF TRYING TO DOWNPLAY THOSE BREASTS FOR YEARS. At 37 (SHE WAS BORN 8 YEARS TO THE DAY AFTER SARAH JESSICA PARKER), TK is YOUNG-looking, with permanently CURLY, FRIZZY hair. But her hair is AN EXPRESSION OF HER BOUNCY PERSONALITY, AND SHE SAYS SHE FRETS RARELY OVER THE WRINKLES FORMING ALONG HER BROW.
(I hope my multiple usage of the word “breasts” doesn’t summon forth the spammers.)
JT has complied and definitely wrote a better paragraph than mine! Fun.
http://raceslikeagirl.com/2010/08/14/so-tell-me-a-little-about-yourself/
OK, here is the illiterate’s stab at it…
One of the humans admiring them is BT. BT is a member of another perennially threatened species, the confused, dysfunctional, misfit that polite people simply refer to as eccentric. But she’s not as alarmed about it as the otters. In fact, she’s been heard to mutter “I really don’t give a rat’s ass” when queried on the subject. She’s a spindly woman, 5 ft. 7 in. just like Kara Goucher without the looks, youth, or talent, but her posture is not so much hunched as, well, OK she’s hunched over like Granny May. At 54 (hey, not 55 til next week, which, since you asked, is a NEW AG!), BT’s hair might well be quite salty, although her true hair color is a mystery at this point since it’s been a few decades since she’s been “updating” it. Besides, no salt in this house — we’re on a low salt diet here!