Hey, I’m pretty fit, right? I can run 10 miles, no problem. I just set a fantastic PR less than a month ago. I’m not at my strongest (not quite ready for speedwork yet) nor is my endurance at it’s peak (still have a couple more months before the 20-milers start hitting), but if you did a survey of random folks off the street, I would probably be among the fittest.
But apparently, my athleticism extends no further than putting one foot in front of the other, over and over, at speed. I had evidence of this tonight, when, in my first attempt to stay true to my strength and cross-training goals, I attended the 5:45 Core Conditioning class at the company gym. Always a dicey proposition, that, since I never know which colleague will surprise me with a full-frontal flash (or, worse, a mooning) in the locker room.
I arrived at the class about five minutes into it, all afluster in my typical I-hate-to-be-late-why-am-I-always-late way. Grabbed a mat and started into the crunches and bicycles everyone was doing. Turns out the structure of the class was to do as many reps of each exercise as you could in either 30- or 60-second intervals, moving quickly from one exercise interval to the next. The instructor (who reminded me of Popeye) told us which exercises to do and when we could stop. After the first minute of crunches/bicycles I thought, I have lost a lot more core strength than I suspected. After the second minute of crunches/bicycles I thought, why won’t my body do the exercises anymore? Yow! There must have been something risky about lifting my arms near or above my head, because whenever the exercise required such a moovement, I had to go easy lest I faint. That’s right–I said FAINT. We were doing lunges simultaneous with lifting our arms straight out to our sides while holding weights (me: 3-pounders! Grr!). I enjoyed this (I was forced to concentrate and I could feel my exertion) until I stopped and stood up. A hot flash hit me, sweat started popping out all over my face, I was seeing spots and hearing air whoosing through my ears. (Are you laughing? I hope you are because I am! I nearly fainted from 60 seconds of lunges?!) Luckily I was right near the exit so I set my weights down and walked with purpose to the water fountain, where I sipped and breathed until I felt the fainting spell pass. On my way back, I could see Popeye peeking out with a worried expression on his face. Even in my motification, I had to laugh at myself. Every time I set foot in the gym something happens that proves just how ill-suited I am for the place. It’s okay; it’s high comedy in the end. (Besides, I know lots of other places for which I am perfectly suited. Mmhmm!)
So, I look at the clock to see when the class would be over. There were 15 minutes left. I had arrived 5 minutes late, and the class was half an hour long. That meant that Popeye nearly made me faint after only TEN (10!) minutes of this squatting and crunching and lifting and lunging. Oh and I did push-ups, too, and some crazy twisty balancing thing that made me say “oof” with every twist. Could I be any dorkier? In my pigtails? And the worst part was that the other women around me–skinnier and plumper, older and younger–were all kicking my ass. If ever there was an evening where I needed to leave work and laugh at myself, it was tonight. But you know what’s the funniest thing of all? I want to go back, because there’s no way this class is going to get away with nearly making me faint. We’ll see who laughs last.
Ok, gotta admit, I did laugh. Out loud and at every word I just read. Hehehe!!!
Mama Bear, you are no more a dork than I am. I do my workout at home so nobody can see or hear me. You are a much braver soul than I am, taking an actual class. I applaud you.
HAHA!!!
hehehe, it reminded me of myself during my first Turbo Kick class. I thought I was so in shape then I went in to take the class, 30 minutes into it and I wanted to die! Just completely drop dead and die. Obviously, this was enough to make me want to go back to the class. Now, I am a regular and I love it! I still want to die mid class but perseverance will win! Great job sticking it to it and I am glad you want to go back too 🙂
This actually reminded me of the first time I tried on Spanx. I was out of breath, feeling faint, and practically broke a rib. Those darn things mean business. LOL 🙂
Hilarious. Wait, actually: I still feel that way when I wear Spanx!
I’m glad to hear you’re not gonna let the class kick your butt…in the long run anyway. The first few are always the toughest. The more I read about you the more I’m convinced that you’re gonna kick this classes ass in the end.
All the core stuff can only make you a better, faster runner too!
Wow, that sounds intense. Glad to hear that you’re headed back for revenge. You show that class who’s boss.
Wow, Popeye sounds intimidating! My head is spinning right now thinking of all the physiologic possibilities to explain what might have caused you to faint…something about the environment, I think…
I went to a new tri-strength class on Monday night and it kicked my butt! I do strength training a few times a week so I did not expect this class to kill me but it sure did! It was 50 minutes and with about 10 minutes to go I really thought I was going to puke. Oh man! And now, two days later my legs are so sore I’m walking around like I just jumped off a horse!
All of us determined folks out to live our resolutions are now SORE! I too am SORE today. It hurts to laugh! But I’m going back to class tomorrow, and I am really looking forward to reaping the benefits in my running.
TK I love this story! I have some great sets I am starting to post on DailyMile in case you want to self-induce fainting sometime 😉 Can’t wait to read about your next class with Popeye!