It’s been a while. It’s been a while since a lot of things have happened to me, not just since I’ve sincerely wanted to sit down and write onย PF for you all. I’m leaving things behind, and this might refer to people and objects but mostly it refers to me-things. There was the girl from before, and soon there will be the woman I am meant to be. Right now, I’m in this foggy place where sometimes I can see through the wisps, but mostly I don’t know what the future will look like.
So, these are a few details you’ll need to know. I’m divorced, and I’m living in a new, temporary home (still in Queens but no longer in Sunnyside). Betty, my right adductor brevis, has been cranky and agitated since I ran in the snow in January 1st, so I have been running at most three days a week and instead my training has consisted of Pilates class, the elliptical at the gym, and my old PT exercises. Clamshells, and leg lifts, and squats–oh my! (At Pilates, I am the person in the class who makes everyone else feel good about themselves. I consider it my community service for the week.) Oh and also, work has been brutal since the turn of the year.
I ran this morning. I hadn’t scheduled it, just put it out there as a potential activity for the day. Mostly, I thought it was important I get enough rest and if that meant I didn’t have time for a run, so be it. However, I woke naturally at 8 AM, and after scrolling through the options of everything I could do this morning, I most wanted to run. That was a welcome realization. So I dressed up in pink (to feel pretty), tied up my pigtails (they are getting long), wrote up a turn sheet (I get lost), and loaded up a new playlist on to my iPod. I was smiling before I even started running. It was time to get physical, to be outside, to feel my heart pound.
Here in Astoria, I have no idea where to run. I’m not attached to this neighborhood, so I’m not enthusiastic about exploring. Nevertheless, I ended up liking the route I picked, across on 31st Avenue and up 21st Street to Astoria Park. The approach to the Triboro and Hellgate Bridges was different, and I appreciated that new perspective. Somewhere along 31st Avenue, something inside me cracked open and I could feel myself running with pure joy. It was a revelation: I loved the movement, I loved my company, I loved dodging traffic and waving at dogs on leashes. I loved skirting the park, oogling the bridges as they slyly arched away from me. For the first time in what could be months, I recognized myself. Here it was: this favorite part of me was safe and happy, just waiting to be invited out to play. I have been so busy dragging myself forward through this transition, examining myself, shining a light on the shadowed parts and feeding the starving ones, that I’d forgotten I know how to run.
I gave a little leap forward.
Oh! I suppose that’s metaphorical but I actually did give a little leap, right there on 31st Avenue. It was a bit like flying. I giggled, too.
5.11 miles run in 46:44. Average pace 9:09, fastest mile 8:57, slowest mile 9:21.
Oh sweetie, what a huge transition for you. So many things going on. I’m glad you liked yourself today, and that movement = freedom and happiness.
When are you headed this way again, friend? We need to meet up soon.
My best,
L.
welcome back. and to more discoveries of who you are…
Welcome back TK ๐
Glad to see you back!
Happy to hear you are moving on to a better place. I’ve been in a similar place of fogginess the past month for different reasons and am trying to find my way back from the sadness.
Looking forward to reading more about your next adventures TK!
Welcome back. I’ll bet you really missed you.
blessings to you, sweet sister. glad you didn’t spit all over yourself and ruin the moment.
Welcome back, in more ways than one! You are doing the right thing by just taking it as it comes…
On a side note, I think running in Astoria is nice because there are a lot of quiet side streets to make for good running, and some good paths next to the East River. Since it is tucked away in a corner of Queens, the car traffic is lighter, in my opinion. Enjoy…
Good to see you back. I’m sure 2011 will be the year of the pigtails.
Great to see you posting again. Welcome back…
Nice to have you back.
Nice to see you posting, TK! So happy to hear you had a lovely run this morning. It truly is the little things.
Difficult times. Good to see you back blogging (and running) again. Have fun exploring the new neighbourhood.
Nice to see you back around this corner of the interwebs. ๐
TK,
So glad to be reading PF!! I’m glad you are able to soak up the truly happy moments during such a trying time. Things are looking up. Hope to see you out on the streets. Let’s plan another run together sometime. That last 7 in the snow mountains probably wasn’t my best!
Way to get after it TK! There’s nothing like a good run to put your mind at ease. I’d say welcome back, but I’m just now discovering your blog so I’ve got some catching up to do. ๐
Hello, new you. ๐
Good post. Glad to see you finding your new self. ๐
This post made me smile ๐
Hi. I just stumbled upon your blog tonight & after reading a few posts was so excited to keep reading your perspective. Thank you for blogging. Also, I just moved here to Astoria from Austin 4(-ish) months ago! So hi neighbor! I haven’t dug I to the ru Ning groups/scene yet but would love to take any tips!
Love this comment!! Are you on Twitter? How did you find my blog?