Posts Tagged ‘six-word race report’

You guys, thanks so much for the creativity and thought you put into your Six-Word Race Reports. My original Challenge Post garnered an all-time high of 20 comments, and a handful of you even posted your Six-Word Race Reports on your own blogs. (Mwah to you. Mwah is Frahnch for beeg keess.)Clearly, brevity is addictive since most of you couldn’t pick just one race to sum up, but rather submitted in multiples (there’s an oxymoron in there somewhere). Personally, I’m starting to believe that everything in life should be boiled down to six words or less.

Amy over at Runner’s Lounge actually tossed out my challenge to her readers for their Take It and Run Thursday column. And, a few days after I called all you bloggers out, Title Nine emailed with a link to their 6-Word Slam, asking their customers to write about “all that fitness is and does for us.” (Sounds a little woo-woo/granola to me. “Fitness” is one of those terms, which when used in an iffy context, is just a half-step removed from the similarly crunchy “balance” and “wellness.”*) Frankly, I want to know about who ran through a hailstorm, who PR’ed and who ran hungover. I don’t give a Downward Dog Pose about your “fitness.”

 Without further ado, here are the Six Best Six-Word Race Reports according to me, within categories arbitrarily designated by (once again) me:

Most Liberal Interpretation of “Six Words”
MIKE: ChampionChip tie-wrap continuosly whips leg–ouch!
Most Brutally Honest
JULIE: So hot I crapped a little.

Most Effective at Simultaneously Inciting Performance and Schwag Envy
SARAH: Won age group, six delicious rolls!

Most Clearly Written by an Athlete (as Opposed to a Mathlete)
AMY: Awful and awesome at once.

Best Insider Joke
MATT: Boston: Hartford with a good publicist.

Most Likely to Garner Approval of Non-Runners
JULIE: This wasn’t worth the ice cream.

And, the Award for Outstanding Interloper Participation Goes to…
MIKE: Too lazy. Smoke and read instead.

Congratulations running scribes! If you have a chance on Thursday, drop over to Runner’s Lounge and see what comes out of Amy’s Take It and Run Thursday… sounds promising to me!

*Actually, my real gripe is that Title Nine sells too many cutie-pie outfits and not enough technical clothing for endurance athletes. What’s up with this matchy-matchy? I don’t want to race in a shirt and shorts that have coordinating dogwood branch patterns. But Title Nine does get props for being the only joint that sells a sports bra in my size, and for their general positive portrayal for female athletes, even if all their models are skinnier than I was at age 12.

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Some of you may have heard of this book, Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Famous & Obscure Writers. It is exactly what it says it is, and the memoirs are hilarious, poignant, universal and quixotically specific. I don’t own the book, I just enjoy watching the video (embedded below). When I am supremely bored (read: in a meeting), I write my own six-word memoirs, coming at my life from all different angles. Today, I had to sit through two back-to-back BS sessions that had me wishing I’d develop stigmata, Tourette’s Syndrome, or maybe a  left elbow that popped everytime I bent it–something, anything to amuse me and those around me. I finally gave up and honed my six-word memoirs to such a fine point that I decided to try for the six-word race report. I wrote my memoirs, then I ghost-wrote the memoirs of some of the American elite runners who have taken part in the Olympic Trials. Herewith, my six-word efforts:

TK:    Pigtails flying, panting notwithstanding, I PR’ed.

Brian Sell:     I ran away from dental school.

Christian Smith:     The track burn was worth it.

Kara Goucher:     Who said I’ve got no kick?

Jordan Hasay:      Finals now, London in four years.

Aren’t you inspired? If you could describe your last race, or your first race, or your best race, which six words would you use to tell the story? I challenge you to post your own six-word race report, either in the comments here, or on your own blog.  And just so you’re not all looking around in cyberspace saying Huh, who, me?  I am calling you out, bloggers. Sarah, Laura, Julie, Laminator, Dada, Paul, Alejandro, Rob, Andrew, ben and JeremyChia, Amy, SF, Robert, Uptown Girl, Staci, 1Mile, FlyGirl, Mike, Robert, JC, Ryan, Phil, Paul, Candy, Bryan, Kevin et al.: I want to read your six-word race report! And to the rest of you who read this blog and sometimes comment, now is your chance to blow us all away with your eloquence, wit, originality and racing chops. I wanna see those six-word race reports all over the comment section. What else do you all have to do at work all day, anyway?

Here’s the video:

Oh yeah, and my run home from work today was an encouraging return to form. 3.5 miles in 32:19.

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